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Day 1: We Adopted a Puppy! (Part 1)

March 17, 2012

Day 1 (Part 1):

2pm: After two weeks of waiting, I have Joey in my arms. At almost four months old, he’s sweet, calm, and smells like a puppy. I’m so excited that I forget that I don’t know a damn thing about raising a puppy. Internet training here I come!

2:15pm: My good friend Dani and I decide that it’d be a good idea to stop by Petco. As we walk aisle by aisle, something strange comes over me.  I start to get this incredible sensation, a feeling of excitement that I only get at Target.  I realize that Petco is to Joey what Target is to Mom and make a mental note  to never allow Joey to shop hungry or emotional.  I keep reminding myself, it’s not what Mom wants for Joey, it’s what Joey needs.

3pm: An hour and three salespeople later, I walk out spending $100. Worse, I still need to buy bowls, food, and toys. That’s okay, Mom and Dad don’t need to eat this month.

Dani, Joey and I spend the next hour getting supplies for Joey and some late lunch for ourselves. I’m so excited that my hunger is nonexistent. I coin this diet, “Keep the Brown Stuff on the Grass.”

4:30pm. Thank goodness Dani is with me. She held Joey in the car as I ran around Target and the grocery store. Now it’s time for food. I’m surprised at how calm he is. We put Joey in the bedroom, feed him, and then let him loose. He runs around until he gets a whiff of Dani’s sandwich, runs over to her, and politely asks for a bite. Okay, so it wasn’t quite like that. We actually had to remove Dani from the room so that she could eat without two extra paws and a mouth helping her.

In the meantime, I distract Joey with his two new toys. He is so excited that he pees on the carpet. I instantly go to my calm place and exclaim SHIT, but quickly remember not to scold him.  How do I do this? Dog pees on carpet, dog peeing on carpet is bad, but cannot scold dog, especially since he is watching me. I settle with a subtle”that’s cool dude” and run off to find Captain Carpet Cleaner (CCC).  I grab CCC and go, go, go. Spray, wait, scrub, repeat. Then I realize that the situation could get worse. I call out to Dani, “DANI!!!! I NEED TO TAKE HIM OUT! HE MIGHT POOP ON THE CARPET.”

I take him out. Nothing. I take him back in. Nothing. I don’t blame him. Stress clogs me up too.

Then I take him out again, and finally, he squats and poops.  I’m strangely not disgusted by the act of picking up his poop. If Dad were there, he’d be proud. By the looks of his bowel movement, he’ll fit right in with our clan.

I think I got this Joey, I think I got this.

Up Next: Day 1 (Part 2) or How Joey Took Mom’s Groove


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